How to Keep Your Divorce Civil
Divorce, whether a mutual decision or a surprise dropped on you by your partner, is always hard. While the end goal in most cases is an amicable divorce, it can be difficult to keep this in mind during the proceedings. In this article, we will focus on no-fault divorces, and some tips on how to keep your divorce civil.
Tips on Keeping Your Divorce Amicable
Keep Fairness in Mind
When getting a no-fault divorce, the best way to keep the divorce amicable is to focus on keeping things fair. This is not always going to be easy. It is always easier to see our own perspective on the matter, especially if there are years of resentment stopping you from seeing your ex-partners side of things. However, if you want an amicable divorce, try to set aside the feelings that lead to a divorce and look at things in an unemotional and logical mindset. This will help you to see what is fair in terms of asset division and child custody. If you approach your divorce in this frame of mind, most of the times your ex will see that and try to do the same.
Be Open to Communication
During your relationship, you may have had a hard time properly communicating with your partner, so this step may also be difficult. The best way to look at this as a final chance to understand each other. Regardless of where the relationship ended up, at some point, you both cared about the other person's feelings and opinions. Try to channel this during your divorce and truly listen to your partner, and share your thoughts honestly as well. The end goal of this will be closure for both of you, and perhaps an understanding of what you need to work on in the future, and what you actually need in a partner. Speaking honestly to each other can help you reach resolutions faster and leave you both able to continue to work with each other if need be.
Resentment and anger build up, and during a divorce, these feelings can really prevent an amicable resolution. These feelings can also prevent you from moving on and getting past the relationship. Try to focus on forgiveness. You have already decided to end the relationship, there is no real reason to continue to hold on to the all the misgivings.
This can also mean forgiving yourself. If you are a person more likely to take the blame than to give it, learn to let go of these emotions. They will hold you back in your future relationships and will prevent you from moving on properly.
While the end of a marriage is always hard, there are ways to minimize the conflict during this time. Focus on listening and empathy, and having an amicable divorce will not be out of reach.